MEAnings-The Beginning

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My husband and I were having a rare date together, and sitting at the table beside us was a group of people younger than us. The conversation fascinated me because I couldn’t understand some of it. Context clues weren’t helping a whole lot, either, because the people at the table already knew what the colloquialisms meant, so everything they said left little for me to grasp, and I, the eavesdropper, felt so not…with it.

I’ll just interject here for a moment of honesty–even as a younger person, I didn’t know all the “cool” lingo, either. I was a geek-chic island. And this was before geek-chic was a Thing to be. I’m not going to say I made it cool, buuuuuutttt…. No, I didn’t.

As I wondered what in the world these phrases could mean, I started to laugh. Husband looked at me like I covered myself in purple polka dots, so I had to tell him my thoughts. He laughed, too, which was when I made a decision. From here on out, (translation: until I get bored with it) I will be sharing MY meanings of current sayings with you via – COMIC STRIPS! (Or, in this particular case, a comic “block” because this first one is just one biggo rectangle.) I call them MEAnings! (Get it! Because I’m MEA and this is my definition of these phrases or words. Never mind. You got it.)

So here is MEA…

 

mea-hi

And the next blog post will be a MEAnings one. I hope y’all laugh a little!

17132798

 

Strange New Things

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Hello! Long time, no see, Darlings.

I could tell you Everything from even before my last post, really the last two and a half years, every excruciating detail that has brought me to now, a Strange, New Thing typing this post, but…

your speculations are probably more spectacular than the truth.

And I’ve worked so hard to figure out where some big, bad things fit into my life, I don’t really want to rehash them all. My emotions might explode and get into your pretty hair.

So, I’ll sum up in a less aggressive way-bullet points!

  • A very important person in my life made a terrible and uncharacteristic decision. It hurt so many people and cause him great guilt and regret, ultimately leading to his depression and suicide. The suicide happened before we could reconcile. I was 31 weeks pregnant during his funeral. It sucked a lot.
  • After giving birth, I had postpartum depression. Again. It sucked a lot.
  • I was in an unhealthy job situation that, in combination with the above, sucked a lot.

Two and a half years later, I think I may possibly be able to get back out in the world because of the next few bullet points.

  • Strangely, forgiving him wasn’t the biggest issue for me. It was that I didn’t tell him I didn’t hate him as he assumed I did. I was just so. So. Sad. I have come to a “place” where I can forgive myself more every day and grieve properly with each allowance.
  • I’ve been back on the medication that helps me deal with postpartum depression for a long while now. Actually, I believe I’m finally in a spot where I can try getting off of them again, which thrills me.
  • I have a new, positive work environment and I like to go there, to be a part of the “team”. I didn’t know how bad the previous situation was until I experienced something different. I make less money, but can I just tell you Folks that quality of life is worth a million rubies?

So, I’m getting back on track. It actually started at the end of July 2016, but I was embarrassed to tell you all publicly. What if I wasn’t “fixed”? What if nobody told me I had crazy in my teeth? I’ve had a few months of pleasant days now, though, and I feel more…resolved, maybe? That might be the right word.

The next set of bullet points are things I’ve learned going through this mess:

  • Forgive others.
  • Forgive yourself.
  • Experience your emotions. Don’t hide them away.
  • Write it out to understand better.
  • Keep hold of your joy.
  • Live the best you can.

I’m feeling good about 2017. I truly hope you are, too.

Kanpai, Lovely People!

 

June 2015 Update

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I have a working outline! Tomorrow I will begin writing a. Whole. Lot. as I try to squeeze out a rough draft for the July Nanowrimo Camp. I’m fretful and nervous, but it can’t be that bad, right? RIGHT?! I’ve been humbled with the failing of LibertyNovel and feel that one reason it didn’t work out was because it took so long to write it. Through the years, I changed so much and the message got garbled because what I wanted to say kept changing as I learned lessons in my life. So this time, I’m writing with a single message and theme and motivation in the forefront along with the characters, plot points, and world building. I’m hoping this formula will produce a better draft than LibertyNovel had a chance to be.

So, here’s to MediatorNovel and everyone writing this upcoming month! *Raises metaphorical glass* CHEERS!

(http://33.media.tumblr.com/0e8725081cffe8a94c9fe5fb3fd98838/tumblr_inline_mt1vvuWSBQ1qz4rgp.gif)

April and May 2015 Updates

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I don’t have a set number of hours to share with you for these months. I know. That sucks. It’s just that I have taken every spare moment to read on a couple of books, one on novel structure and one on outlining, and I haven’t been writing down when I start reading and taking notes, so I truly just don’t know. Is it fair to just say “a lot?” I don’t even know.

Why am I reading craft books, you might ask? Because after finishing the first draft of LibertyNovel and working with critique partners, I realized I needed help in this area. Lots and lots of help.  So what does a nerdy girl do when she realized she doesn’t know or understand something? She buys a book…or ten…and hope it whispers secrets to her.

LibertyNovel is shelved for the time being. I’m sad about it, but I owe the characters a better story than what is there, and I just don’t know the answer yet. So I will percolate until the time is right. Until then, I’m starting afresh with another idea and, oh my gosh, I can’t wait to share. But, for now, I call it MediatorNovel, and I love it so.

I wanted to be done with the outline by the end of May. That isn’t the case, but I’m finding there is a good possibility that I won’t have as much work to do after the first draft if I take care planning before it.

Soooo… here we go, again! Back to the drawing board but with so much more knowledge thanks to LibertyNovel and craft books! I’m so excited I could spit!

Love,

Mea

March ’15 Update

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I have Critique Partners!!! There are two lovely people who have consented to work with me on getting this novel to the query stage, in spite of all my Me. (Just kidding. I’m awesome.) Already I’ve seen such a huge difference as I critique their writing and get a new perspective on mine. (And, dang, they’ve got some good stories!) I am overwhelmingly thankful to have met such lovely writers. Because of their thoughts and experiences, I have grown soooo much this month! Ah, I just….can’t….even…. YAY!

Here are the stats:

Total hours: 23 hours 20 minutes (20 hours was the goal)

Total days: 8 days (20 days was the goal)

I have Big Decisions to make on this book, and I wish I had more consecutive time to make these decisions, but we deal with what we have. I just feel like, when I have to break it up like this, I’m taking 2 steps forward and 1 step back. On the bright side, I’m still one step closer to done.

I wanted to clean out the office area of my kitchen this month. I got all but the overhead shelf done. I consider that a success. I am also ready to start putting together my bedroom table that I’ve been working on with MY OWN HANDS, slowly but surely, for the past three months.

Oh! AND Husband moved ugly furniture out of my bedroom to its new and desired location, and I moved the pretty furniture out of the dining room (where it did not belong) to the bedroom and it looks sooo much better. I got paint samples this month, too, and I decided what colors I did NOT want my bedroom walls but had much success with the kitchen color. These were things I didn’t have on my To-Do list, but I’m impromptu like that.

One day I will have time to write a thoughtful, endearing blog about life metaphors and licorice. Today is not that day. Hope y’all’s month was stinkin’ amazing!

Laters!

-Mea